I'm trying to remember why I walked away in the first place, but my memories seem blurred out by my feelings. I hate this. I can't think straight. All I keep re-living in my mind is that nothing is going to be the same. I was up in space back then. Now I'm being held by this insane abyss, not knowing what to say, write. Not knowing how to keep alive a simple conversation. I want to run away, literally. Just leave my cellphone and computer behind, and run.
I'm not sorry for what I did, said or thought. That's me, this is me. I don't belong to anybody, to any place, to any belief. I belong to me. Maybe I seem to be stuck, but I'm really not. I travel all the time, deep inside my mind, I go places.
Yes, I'm a daydreamer. And my mistake was to give those dreams permission to capture me, and when I finally got loose, I got caught in a never-ending tornado of emotions. I don't have patience now, but I'm always calmed.
My head is a mess from not knowing what's inside your mind, sweetheart. I don't understand your pain, but I wish I could. You wander around the house like you're lost, like you are in this weird world you don't know anymore, and it tears me apart. Something is missing from you, the wound is just so new. Although you seem to be mature and strong, I know you suffer and I can't fix it this time. I must let you heal until it feels normal again to wake up. You are young, and smart and I feel proud of how you've taken the sad situation. I see you smile, I hear you laugh, but inside your smile there's this thing I can't figure out.
I had to be the one to break it to you, I broke your heart into pieces. I saw your day turn into hell and saw how you couldn't sleep that night. Your escape was staying awake, making your brain and body tired.
But understand one thing, I will be here like I have always been. You can count on me, I will take care of…